(Whoops! It’s April and I still haven’t published this. I have a very bad habit of writing things and then squirreling them away forever, never to see the light of day. Trying to break that habit: here’s March’s post!)
March, the month of damp earth and soft air, has arrived. As temperatures have warmed, my thoughts have turned to homegrown veggies and blooming flowers. Last weekend, Jenna and I went to the garden store (where we were asked the age-old question: “Are you partners or twins?” I always feel sad about disappointing people when we tell them the boring truth–neither–just regular old sisters), and grabbed handfuls of seeds.
We became gluttonous in our imaginings of all the food to come: kale still damp with dew, multi-colored carrots, leafy spinach, tomatoes so beautiful they’re almost deformed. We probably got more veggies than we’ll ever have time to grow, but we couldn’t resist.
Then we got to planting–we plopped the baby down, and set up a space in front of the sunniest window to start our seeds.
Jordan is out of town, visiting our undergraduate institution to give a talk, so Jenna and I have had a lot of sister time. It’s wonderful, in that lovely-frustrating way that spending a ton of time with your sibling usually is.
We bickered throughout the three-hour process of making dumplings, and then forgot our argument completely in how delicious they were. Each night, we’ve laid side by side on my bed before we head our separate ways. I nurse the baby and she reads. Or we watch childhood favorites like Legally Blonde.
When Jordan is gone, we come together more. I go home for lunch, and we sit on the couch while I nurse Linden and she eats. Or she’ll come visit me at work, and walk around with me as I take photos of the buildings and campus for work. And it’s sweet and simple, in a way that tells me I’ll long for these moments one day.
Otherwise, life has been full with the daily maintenance of things. Taking the dogs out in the early morning and feeling a surge of pleasure at the newness of the day. Changing wet diapers. Sweeping the floor. And sweeping it. And sweeping it again (the amount of animal and Sarah hair–I’m in my postpartum shedding phase–that accumulates is miraculous). The time change. Getting gas. Breathing out frustration as I sit in traffic. Taking vitamins.
I feel fairly satisfied with life right now. Not quite as wounded by the fact that I have to leave Linden during the day. Most of the time, our routine works. Things still aren’t perfect, but I’m hopeful that the hard parts of my life will get easier. That I’ll figure out ways to be around Linden more–either by working from home or flexing my schedule. That we’ll get our house to a place where it feels comfy and cozy–instead of grimy and empty and random. That things will bloom, and our new little garden will grow.
It’s a spring kind of feeling.
Note: In an effort to blog more regularly, I’m trying to post monthly vignettes about what the month was like. They’ll be loose and rather pointless, but should hopefully capture the texture of what life felt like that month.