The older I get, the more common the pregnancy and birth announcements become on my Facebook: pictures of newborns swaddled in blankets, tiny baby shoes posed next to bigger adult shoes in the same style. Clever puns with spaghetti sauce (Prego, oh boy). But there are a few friends and acquaintances who have made baby … Continue reading On Not Wanting Kids
You know those mornings when you wake up before the alarm, and the windows are still cloaked in cool nighttime colors? This is one of those mornings. Yesterday was almost one--I woke up before my alarm, but then I succumbed to exhaustion and closed my eyes again. That's the fatal mistake. It sets you up … Continue reading Gratitude and un-Gratitude: August
From the time I was sixteen, I pictured having a daughter. Somehow it had never occurred to me that I might have a boy--it just didn’t seem like an option. Boys were for people who had brothers growing up. I have a sister. When I used to ask my mom whether she’d wanted girls or … Continue reading On Having a Boy
Right now I’m sitting on the couch with the window flung wide open, listening to the symphony of frogs that has congregated outside. It’s been unseasonably wet and warm. In the span of a week, we went from frozen soil and brown, withered plants to green unfurling everywhere. And best of all are the spring … Continue reading On Luck and Loss
I am sad. It pours out of me in gasps and chokes, a geyser of emotion too strong to stopper up. Each year it lies in wait. Quiet, tame. Masked by boredom with the details, the mundanity of every day life. And then, as his tires crunch gravel outside the window, and the door closes solidly … Continue reading On Goodbyes
Alone. It's a weighty concept, one packed with loneliness and independence and freedom. It means handling problems that arise all by yourself. Bearing life's weight on your own back. But with that independence comes freedom from another person's opinions and needs. It means living your life exactly the way you want to live it, unrestrained … Continue reading The Merits of Being Alone
Spring is wrapping up here in Mississippi. Now when I step onto the deck each morning with Chara, the air is as warm and soft as a second skin. The brilliant spring blooms have faded, and the garden is well established. And with these changes come other big life changes. About three weeks ago … Continue reading On Change
