Today, on a walk around the block, I ran into the mom of one of my childhood friends. We had the whole gang with us: Linden putzing along in his red and yellow car, Hollis gnawing the strap of his carrier on my back, and Jordan, hand-in-hand with my mom. The gang We chatted for … Continue reading On Collective Grief
Tag: love
On Old Friends
You know that annoying song they make you sing in preschool, "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold"? I'm here to report, after 27 years of observation and assessment: the annoying song is right. Old friends are gold. So here's a tribute to one of my oldest and … Continue reading On Old Friends
On Remembering My Mom
[I realized recently that most of my posts follow a particular, positive format. In each one, I move from uneducated to educated. Unenlightened to enlightened. Sad to happy. Mournful to hopeful. But not all of life can be a lesson. And not all of life has a happy ending. This post is one that I’ve … Continue reading On Remembering My Mom
On Giving Birth
[Written about two weeks after L was born. Warning: this post is kinda graphic. Like mucus-plug graphic. Read at your own discretion] I’m sitting here with a snoring baby on my chest. He is warm and soft and heavy—the sort of soft, warm, heavy that is meant to be snuggled close. It’s one of the … Continue reading On Giving Birth
On May shadows and sunshine
May is drawing to a close, and as its last days near, temperatures soar. It feels like it's been weeks since our last rainfall, and every time I open my weather app, little suns stare back at me. The grass in our backyard is becoming crispy. My garden requires constant drenching with a hose. And … Continue reading On May shadows and sunshine
On the Sweeping Emotions of Parenthood
Being a parent is not what I expected. The word parent is so boring. So blasé. Commonplace, even. Before becoming one, I pictured ill fitting jeans, responsibility, and the exhaustion of serving up mundanity to my children day after live-long day. As far as words go, parent was the opposite of romance in my brain. It was … Continue reading On the Sweeping Emotions of Parenthood
On Not Wanting Kids
The older I get, the more common the pregnancy and birth announcements become on my Facebook: pictures of newborns swaddled in blankets, tiny baby shoes posed next to bigger adult shoes in the same style. Clever puns with spaghetti sauce (Prego, oh boy). But there are a few friends and acquaintances who have made baby … Continue reading On Not Wanting Kids
On Luck and Loss
Right now I’m sitting on the couch with the window flung wide open, listening to the symphony of frogs that has congregated outside. It’s been unseasonably wet and warm. In the span of a week, we went from frozen soil and brown, withered plants to green unfurling everywhere. And best of all are the spring … Continue reading On Luck and Loss
On Goodbyes
I am sad. It pours out of me in gasps and chokes, a geyser of emotion too strong to stopper up. Each year it lies in wait. Quiet, tame. Masked by boredom with the details, the mundanity of every day life. And then, as his tires crunch gravel outside the window, and the door closes solidly … Continue reading On Goodbyes
On Near-Murder and Marriage
It has been two months since Jordan and I got married. Given all that has happened, it feels like it's been two years. Jordan's sister stayed with us for a month (to be clear: this was the best ever), Donald Trump got elected to lead our country, our car broke down, and--right after our car … Continue reading On Near-Murder and Marriage