On Parenthood

Right now I’m sitting at our kitchen table, and a baby is sitting on my lap, strapped to my chest by a carrier. He’s warm and soft and solid all at once, and his wispy hair tickles my chin--distracting me--as I type. We’ve been parents for over a month now, and I’m still trying to … Continue reading On Parenthood

On Training Your Brain

In our busy, modern lives, there isn’t much space for our brains to function free from stimulus. There’s constantly something: a text conversation with a friend who lives across the country, a quick perusal of Instagram, a podcast we’re listening to, a book that we’ve just picked up. Dinner to be made, dishes to be … Continue reading On Training Your Brain

On Adulthood

When I was a kid, I used to play at being an adult (as most kids do). My friends and I set up imaginary grocery stores where we’d pretend to check items out. We’d dress up like doctors and nurses. We’d chide our “disobedient children” as we pulled sweaters over our dolls’ heads. And we’d … Continue reading On Adulthood

Gratitude and un-Gratitude: August

You know those mornings when you wake up before the alarm, and the windows are still cloaked in cool nighttime colors? This is one of those mornings. Yesterday was almost one--I woke up before my alarm, but then I succumbed to exhaustion and closed my eyes again. That's the fatal mistake. It sets you up … Continue reading Gratitude and un-Gratitude: August

On Having a Boy

From the time I was sixteen, I pictured having a daughter. Somehow it had never occurred to me that I might have a boy--it just didn’t seem like an option. Boys were for people who had brothers growing up. I have a sister. When I used to ask my mom whether she’d wanted girls or … Continue reading On Having a Boy

On Minor Miracles

I’m sitting at our old wooden table right now. There are wine stains on it, and flour has been permanently scoured into its surface. The cats use its legs as scratching posts. This table had a generic start: in an Ikea store in Minneapolis, but over the years it has collected memories. I kneaded my … Continue reading On Minor Miracles

On Luck and Loss

Right now I’m sitting on the couch with the window flung wide open, listening to the symphony of frogs that has congregated outside. It’s been unseasonably wet and warm. In the span of a week, we went from frozen soil and brown, withered plants to green unfurling everywhere. And best of all are the spring … Continue reading On Luck and Loss

On Goodbyes

I am sad. It pours out of me in gasps and chokes, a geyser of emotion too strong to stopper up. Each year it lies in wait. Quiet, tame. Masked by boredom with the details, the mundanity of every day life. And then, as his tires crunch gravel outside the window, and the door closes solidly … Continue reading On Goodbyes

The Merits of Being Alone

Alone. It's a weighty concept, one packed with loneliness and independence and freedom. It means handling problems that arise all by yourself. Bearing life's weight on your own back. But with that independence comes freedom from another person's opinions and needs. It means living your life exactly the way you want to live it, unrestrained … Continue reading The Merits of Being Alone